Happiness
happiness
in my last post on the change blog, i talked about disconnecting your happiness from others – how when you depend on others for your happiness you only make yourself (and others) more unhappy. instead,bridal dresses school playground fitness equipment playground surface swing sets i said, you need to find happiness within.
easier said than done though, i know. to find happiness within, you can go to coaches, psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, therapists, or any other number of happiness professionals. you can read books, blogs, or magazines, watch tv shows and dvds or listen to the radio, podcasts or self-improvement cds. and yet when it comes down to it, there are only two things you need to remember if you want to be happy. garbage can emulsifying machine storage tank v-type mixer automatic bollard this is easy-sounding advice but probably one of the hardest things to actually implement. human beings seem to be biologically programmed to think everything has something to do with them.
an earthquake hits their house? a direct attack on their happiness. a friend says something thoughtless and hurtful? an unfair and gratuitous attack and not because the friend has a splitting headache and has been dealing with a malfunctioning computer all day long. a loved one does something that‘s reminiscent of something that caused pain in the past? how dare the loved one bring up such hurtful memories! when we make things all about us and don‘t check our ego at the door, we shut out the world and yet at the same time expect everyone to consider our feelings, our needs and our emotional baggage before their own. swing sets chanel replica piezo ceramic element rotary printing screen supplier classic uggwe let pride cause us to react negatively and we let the past overly influence our responses to present situations.
let‘s look at a (fictional) example: let‘s say i‘ve let my partner use my laptop. i don‘t like to run the computer on ac power with the battery plugged in just in case the battery has a "memory" - i want to maintain the life of the battery as long as i can. i‘ve explainedauthentic ugg ugg sale telescope suppliers air source heat pump water heater cheap wedding dresses this to my partner and yet one day i come into the room and see that he‘s running the computer off ac power and has the battery plugged in as well.
instead of accepting this explanation, i let pride and ego get in the way and stay angry for several hours, with thoughts like "how stupid could he be?" and "but i explained it to him!" running through my head. in fact, he reminds me of an ex who neverubber mat buy wedding dresses wood bench ugg boots ugg classic cardyr listened either and always did the opposite of what i ask.
plus my partner is now upset because he‘s sorry that he misunderstood and angry because i‘ve refused to accept his explanation. in the above example, if i had made an effort to hear my partner i would have quickly realized that although his misunderstanding was frustrating, it wasn‘t a personal attack or wanton negligence. as well with a little self-reflection,ugg australia wedding dresses wedding dress wedding gowns kids ugg boots i would have realized that my anger actually has little to do with the current situation and more to do with my own feelings of people not listening to or following my wishes. again, since the current situation was a misunderstanding, it has nothing to do with the past.
finally, can i change the situation? in this case yes. if i don‘t think my partner will use the computer in the way i wish it to be used, i can ask that he not use it in the ming pool heat pump louis vuitton bags jordan sneakers air jordan shoes nike air max by disconnecting myself and my feelings of hurt and frustration from the situation, i can deal with the issue quickly, find a resolution and go back to being happy.
as long as i remember that except for very rare situations with highly negative people, potentially upsetting situations are most of the time only misunderstandings and not personal attacks, then i don‘t have to let them ruin my day. even in the rare situations where someone is purposefully trying to hurt you, if you remember that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with that person‘s own emotional baggage then whatever he or she nike dunk diet tea diet pills louis vuitton foam machinetosses our way has no lasting effect on our happiness.
choose what you do so that takes care of the actions of others. we now won‘t let what other people louis vuitton handbag wine gift louis vuitton bag gucci gucci handbagsdo affect our own happiness. but what about our own actions? many people pass through life doing things they hate and tell themselves they have to do them or that they have no choice.
and for some, unfortunately that is the case. people who do not have their basic needs met on a regular basis (i.e., food, shelter and basic security – the first two levels of maslow‘s human hierarchy of needs pyramid) often have to make difficult choices between various shades of unhappiness. people who live with a sense of obligation are always saying "i should do this" rather than "i want to" or "i choose to." they feel that the world judge their actions and that they need to conform to some outside view ofgucci handbag gucci bags gucci bag prada prada handbags what is proper and right. they bury their dreams and desires and live to someone else‘s code of behavior (often completely imagined).
others live in the future instead of the present. they have certain goals that they expect to reach (often highly colored by what others supposedly want them to do) and pay no attention to how they feel in the moment. yes, sometimes to reach a goal we end up doing things that don‘t totally thrill us, but if we‘re reaching for a goal whose path is loathsome, then why head in that direction?
then there‘s a third group of people who live on autopilot letting situations decide their actions or blindly follow what other people tell them to do without questioning whether it‘s right for them. people who live this way are often unhappy but don‘t know why they‘re unhappy, which makes sense because if they‘re sleepwalking through life they‘re not going to be paying my attention to their emotions either.
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